Awkward! How to save yourself from public humiliation!

How to get out of sticky situations with help from Patsy Rowe, author of "The Little Book of Etiquette (New Holland) and manners expert Anna Musson (goodmanners.com.au).

Awkward Situation 1
Asking someone when their baby is due when they, um aren't pregnant at all.
Recovery
Patsy: Hopefully, you wouldn't ever so indesceet as to ask this question without knowing for sure that they were pregnant, but, if you've made this blunder, you can only say, 'Really, I'm suprised. Your skin has that lovely glow that only pregnant women seem to get."
Anna: Start every appology with, 'I'm terribly sorry' and continue to explain to your victim that you are a baboon. The manification and sincerity of your appology will determine their response. 

Awkward Situation 2
Bitching about your boss/good friend and getting caught
Recovery
Patsy: Whether its a close friend or your boss, honesty is the best policy here: 'I'm sorry you had to hear it this way, Adrienne, but we all know you're fooling around with Susan's fiance, and its about time you knew that we all know'.
Anna: Gauge the situation. If your target is likely to forgive you, make a joke of it. If they overheard you calling them overbearing and bossy, approach them in private and call them the name (e.g Hello Captain, I'm sorry for talking about you earlier. it was slack of me and I owe you an apology). If they're not likely to see the funnsy side, apologise in person with a gift. Remember that it's you who was in the wrong. They don't owe you forgiveness, so be humble until you receive it.

Awkward Situation 3
Ruining a suprise party.
Recovery
Patsy: Beg the person you've accidentally told to take pity on you and not let anyone else know you've let the secret slip!
Anna: You can turn the tense situation around and redeem yourself by making a joke of it. If you've ruined the suprise, think of another suprise for the evening - preferably not a stripper (it's best not to risk more offence!). If you're apologetic and gracious when they tease you about it incessantly throughout the night, you'll eventually be forgiven.

Awkward Situation 4
Getting caught having sex
Recovery
Patsy: Adjust your clothing, repair your lipstick, take a big breath, and act like it never happened. Let them decide what happens next. Hey, you've done enough!
Anna: Sit down with the person who 'discovered' you and appologise. If you were found at work say, 'I wanted to say sorry for what you saw earlier. We shouldn't have been doing that at work. It shouldn't happen again.' If you keep your job after that, you must be excellent at what you do! And, if it was your parents who found you, don't just leave it hanging. Apologise and they'll eventually get over the shock. 

Awkward Situation 5
Offering to foot the bill at lunch, and then realising you have insufficient funds.
Recovery
Patsy: Choose someone in the group you know and trust. Tell them of your predicament and ask them if they'll pay (quietly of course), then reimbuse them.
Anna: This is embarrasing! Like Patsy says, ask someone you trust to bail you out. The rule is you must pay this person back the moment you have the money, otherwise you'll risk your integrity.

Awkward Situation 6
Having one too many drinks and making a total fool of yourself.
Recovery
Patsy: If you get drunk at a staff party and utterly disgrace yourself, I suggest you look for a new job, as people will forever remind you about how you got your gear off and danced on the photocopier.
Whitney Note: I think Patsy's advice would be more appropriate to refer to when your older and more mature.
Not so much importance for you when your young cause I know alot of you guys still do this :P
Anna: The morning after a night like this, take the time to think about how embarassed you feel and how your conduct has affected others, then take these two steps to rectify the matter.
1. Call your hosts. Be sure to acknowledge your poor behaviour and appologise. Ask how you can make it up to them, and if your 'show' was truly horrifying, send flowers. Immediately.
2. Ring anyone you may have insulted and sincerly appologise. For example 'Matt, I'm calling because, in my drinken haze last night, I believe I may have tried to kiss you seceral times. I want to say sorry for being so dreadful and to let you know it won't happen again'.

 Awkward Situation 7
Gettin busted "chucking a sickie" by your boss.
Recovery
Patsy: Say how sorry you were to call in sick when you weren't, but you'd been short-tempered lately and making a lot of silly mistakes with your work. Tell them you knew you wouldn't be allowed to take time off and thought this would be the best way to get a day off to rejuvenate.
Anna: Time to fess up. Approach your boss the next day and explain yourself. Acknowledge that you weren't cooped up in the house on your death bed -eg 'I thought it was Murphy's Law yesterday when the moment I leave the house for food/doctor/mail, I ran into my boss! Did you think I was having a bludge?.' Hopefully, they'll say, 'I assumed you were on your way to the doctor', but if they saw you at the beach, there's little good manners can do for you.